We (I assume) all have this specific person in your life: Someone whom you were close, but for one reason or another, just wasn’t the case today and still have some resentment about it. You have common friends who knows the predicament and kept tiptoeing the issue (barely acknowledging it with you but knowing them sure they talk about it given the chance) and you two mostly kept it civil it each other especially during social functions by having little to none interaction.
One day while i was reading social media posts, this former friend posted a major life milestone (as every person has every right to do so). I was genuinely happy, but i don’t want to cause some ‘provocation’, so I did nothing for a while, so I reacted the next post unrelated to previous one. I felt that is was the appropriate way of signaling to the person that “I know what is happening to you, but i don’t want to immediately rain on the parade”.
Sometime later, I started receiving messages asking if I knew of said event, i answered to the first person affirmatively and then starts asking questions about my opinion on certain things relate to the milestone. My eyes were (metaphorically) rolling but, being respectful, I gave different answers on the first two inquirers but when the third one asked that question again, I had enough.
Look: I am happy for their happiness, no doubt about it. but we have been, since the start of this decade, on a rocky relationship that finally cave in quite some time ago. We, separately and independently, decided to just avoid each other as much as possible even though we still run to some circles. What I think doesn’t matter to the other person for years now. And it is for the beat. I don’t want to start rocking the rhythm we have now (barely talking to each other) as it will create an earthquake for not just us but for the group.
As my parting words, i want to paraphrase a song that encapsulates my final thought:
Come on, let it go
Just let it be,
I know they’ll be them,
And I’ll be me,
And I’ll be me.